Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why can people give us complements but we don’t give ourselves complements? My theory is that it’s all about perspective.
You know how people say from the outside looking in she has a perfect life but she’s really torn up on the inside…? First of all that is so sad and I’m also pretty sure that I just quoted a Britney Spears’ song called Lucky from my childhood. (Now that will be stuck in your head all day, you’re welcome!) What if every once in while we looked at ourselves from the outside in?
I bet people think that I have my life together (hint: that is false) because I’m semi-adult and have a dog and a boyfriend and an apartment and nice clothes that I’m a obsessed with… But I’ve been having a lot of rough days lately. My boyfriend just moved basically a jillion miles away, I’m always broke like halfway through the month. My body is NOT what it used to be (looking @ you creamy jalapeno from Chuy’s). And I am, most of the time, a lazy antisocial bum – holla if you’re an introverted extrovert.
Sometimes I get really self-conscious that I will be perceived as conceited or self-centered because I have a blog. And I have this really annoying voice in my head that tells me that nobody likes me. Fun right?! Some days I just have to throw a pity party for myself because I’m just not feeling like me. But what if we changed our perspective and looked at ourselves from the outside in? What if we go back to the big things we have in our lives. Jobs (or school!), families that love us and are hilarious and amazing, people we call friends that put up with our weirdness and only talk bad about us to our face because they are being constructive (queue the “Grace you’re wrong and stupid” that I get very often and love!), dogs (even if you don’t have one, when you see one, you know you are having a blessed day), food (!!!), a cozy bed, etc.
Sometimes I get compliments from people and I feel guilty because I don’t think that I deserve them… Does that ever happened to anyone else? Like someone tells you your hair is cute and you’re instantly like no no no you’re wrong it is greasy and terrible. First of all, that’s rude because you’re dissing someone who is being nice to you. And second of all, they’re probably definitely right. What if we tried saying thank you instead of being embarrassed? Literally taking the complement and letting it soak into your head that – heck yes – your hair looks great!
Whenever I complain about my life or my mood to my mom or boyfriend, a.k.a. the cheapest therapists ever, they always remind me of all the good things that I have going on in my life and how nothing is ever going to be perfect in my eyes but to others I’m living pretty damn good. And everyone should think like that sometimes. The little details (those are the things that only you can see) might not be perfect but the overall picture (what everyone else sees) looks really great.
The truth is everybody gets insecure. Even Beyonce is insecure. She legit blocks the internet from posting unflattering pictures of her. Which means that there are unflattering pictures to prevent from being on the web. Which means she has seen them. Which means she doesn’t want people to make fun of her for them. Which means she ain’t perfect either. (But she is really close.)
Let’s talk about Instagram, okay? Instagram, especially with the world’s greatest combo (Instagram + bloggers), get a lot of hate because it seems fake. You are only “advertising” the highlights of your day, week, month, years. Obviously, no one’s life is perfect and everyone’s world has peaks and pits. It’s easy to celebrate things in your life on Instagram – no one wants to post a crying selfie – but what if we looked at this fact as a positive? Scroll through your Instagram and check out all the happy moments of your life. Look at you! Shinin! Living it up! Doing things! Memories! Besties! Fun! Instagram could be a great way to look at all the cool stuff and fun memories you’ve had and help keep your perspective on the positive, big picture point of view. I love looking through old college photos and being like wow that was fun.
Let me summarize in three bullets:
- You will have bad days (ugh) and that’s ok
- Even Beyonce is insecure
- Look at the big picture of your life and recognize that while the details may never be perfect you can create a good life for yourself.
P.S. If you are playing the parentheses drinking game you owe me 12 shots
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